Friday, August 7, 2009

Pres. Obama To Name "Squeaky" Fromme As "Family Values" Czar

Former Manson-follower and assailant of Pres. Ford will not be jobless on Aug. 16th when she is released from after 25 years in prison. In his 2,102nd press conference since his election, Pres. Obama announced, "I made a promise of hope and change when I was elected. It is clear that the American family is in grave danger. It is failing due to the failed policies of the past failed administration in the past nightmarish eight years and my administration will change that. Ms. Fromme has for years belonged to an alternative family structure that offers hope and change to the way things were done before."

Ms. Fromme expressed her gratitude and acceptance of the post at a news conference at a Fort Worth, TX prison yard. "As never before, this President has a wonderfully open mind about exciting new paradigms and values for the American family, a vision I hope to bring about." She went on to tell of her prison experience as being a time of growing, learning and understanding different understandings and ways 'family' could be defined and restructured so as to provide alternative policies and opportunities to the past failures. She went on to vow, "As the new Family Values czar, I will use my extensive life experience in various alternative family structures and lifestyles to reshape and recreate the failed American family of the Bush administration into a new, vibrant, and closer type of family than we have ever seen before!"

"I will give myself undyingly, unreservedly, unquestionably to this position, this vision, and Pres. Obama as I have never given my energies and devotion to anything or anyone before," she declared as prison officials led her away.

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