Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Al Qaeda Boycotts Arizona Over Immigration Law

"Jew-inspired Intolerance Must Not Be Tolerated"

A wave of human rights groups like La Raza, CPUSA, ACLU, CAIR, Hamas, ETA, and now, Al Qaeda, along with havens of light, like San Francisco, existing fearlessly in the dark, oppressed landscape of American middle class bourgeioisie values, are joining with many other Progressives in the massively growing "Boycott Arizona" movement worldwide, in response to the racist, crypto-Nazi laws attempting to stem the tide of over 1,200,000 people annually entering into Arizona "illegally."

Al Qaeda spokesman Ali-Baktu Barak made the announcement this morning from Geneva while attending a UN conference on "Tolerance, Peace and Destroying the Anti-Zionist Jew-Monkey:" "We, the holy warriors of Allah, forcefully united against the great Satan and the filthy monkey Jew-dog, stand in solidarity with all progressive peoples around the world against the extremist, Nazi-like discriminatory and anti-progressive racist policies of the state of Arizona. The Jews must be behind this sinister law! The hatred against the kaffir Mexican guest workers must stop immediately. In the interest of world peace, tolerance, and social justice we demand that the US borders become permanently open for all people seeking Allah's will for their lives and for the world or Arizona will face Allah's wrath - we will not visit the state! Ever!"

Underneath dozens of fluttering Che Guevara banners and Mexican flags waving in the Arizona breeze, anti-Arizona protestor and La Raza ("The Race") representative , Raul Espartaco, welcomed the news. "Arizona is worse than Nazi Germany...even worse than the racista USA...The racista gringos are pinche terroristas, extremistas and we welcome all peace-loving people's support in making just laws and for freedom." When asked why he was flying a Mexican flag in support of his right to live and work in the US without papers, he answered,"I love my country and my peoples even though it is a pinche hellhole of corruption, violence, and poverty. That is why I want to live and work here even though I hate the pinche US and everything it is and stands for." "Arizona belongs to Mexico anyway," said another protestor , Anna Marie Guadaloupe, from Sonora. "The gringos stole it from us so all we are doing is stealing it back so we don't have to live in Mexico anymore." When asked how the boycott may effect thousands of restaurant, hotel and other tourist workers of Mexican descent, she answered, "It's all good because here we can go on welfare here and get everything for free and even go home to Mexico to visit our families until these Nazi policies are stopped. Some of us even have our friends cash the welfare checks and send them down to us. I gotta go now, bye."

CAIR spokeman Ibrahim Muhammad Al-Hussein supports the boycott by Al Qaeda too. "Many of our other Islamic brothers have been unduly stopped and searched at airports and elsewhere simply for having a Quran, a heavy backpack, and false passports" he explained. "We know what it is to suffer persecution and hatred simply because of our religion which will dominate and take over the U.S. praised be Allah!!" Arizona state government spokesman Brad Cantrill responded to the Al Qaeda boycott. "We are only trying to protect the borders and uphold standing federal laws, but if Al Qaeda, CAIR and the Democrat Party would promise to stay away from our borders, we might consider dropping some of the harsher aspects of the bill."

Friday, April 2, 2010

Palin Threatens Violence, Mayhem and Mass Murder Against Democrats!!!

Invokes Nazi era. Tea Baggers are Storm-trooping.

Concerned Americans everywhere in San Francisco, Manhattan, and ACLU offices nationwide are deeply troubled and worried about the level of violent, extremist, angry rhetoric coming from political maverick and extreme extremist ex-Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin at her recent Tea Bagging speech in Nevada. One government study group, Front for Enlightened Americans for Responsible Speech (FEARS) took advantage of some very generous recently released funds from the Stimulus Bill project to do a complete, multi-million dollar research and investigation of the recent speech to determine how much of a danger to civil order and to the national interest is Sarah Palin due to this wildly incendiary, highly violent, extreme extremist speech. FEARS director, Dr. Wilson W. Moocher, made this announcement at a press conference from the study's temporary headquarters in St. Kitts: "There is no doubt in our minds - as a result of months of analyzing her speech last week, entire team of experts has determined that the extremely violent and provocative speech by Gov. Palin was clearly intended to incite armed revolution and violent overthrow of the US government as well as of the U.N." Dr. Moocher claimed. "This speech invoked the memory of Adolph Hitler's 'Beer Hall' speech in Hamburg," he added.

Dr. Moocher went on to specify the extremely violent rhetoric in the Palin Nevada speech that sent the media, from the New York Times, to MSNBC into mass investigations into the words and intentions of this speech. "Palin opened her extreme speech by saying we live in 'volatile times,'" Dr. Moocher explained. "This is a clear call to violent overthrow of the US government. The word 'volatile' is a highly incendiary word, especially in this context." "From there," Moocher went on, "the escalating violent rhetoric descended into a vile, boiling cauldron of hate-filled evil, couched in the extremely extremist bigoted of violent language." He then provided a massive list of the other more extreme wording used by Palin, including:

- Using the word "fighting" (as in 'fighting' for our country or for 'solutions.")
- Telling Obama and the Congressional Democratic leadership that they are "fired," clearly intending to incite some one to use fire arms on them.
- Mentioning several times the word, "cut" while slyly seeming to refer to taxes and spending, it was clearly meant to be code for encouraging bloody retribution against members of Progressive congressional seats.
- The repeated mention of "drilling" was a clear-cut, double-entendre reference to signify heteronormal terrorism against womyn, as well as violence and terrorism against Mother Earth.
- The mention of "getting involved" which was clearly code for taking up arms and attacking the government and its representatives.
- The mention of "true-blue-blooded Americans,"-- a surefire reference to racial superiority hearkening back to Nazism in its worse forms.
-Repeated references to violent, warlike words such as political "battlegrounds," "not retreating," reload," which is unmistakably referring to terrorist insurgent activity and the destruction of the world as we know it.

One highly respected news reporter, Keith Olbermann of MSNBC, tried to be balanced about the severe allegations that the study proved. "How much more proof do we need? Palin and anybody associated with her needs to be thrown in jail immediately with no parole. At the same time, we need to be cautious before we speak in public about some of these reports," Olberman said on his show. "The fascist, storm-trooping, Nazi-like rhetoric used by the extremely extreme extremist, Sarah Palin, deserves the utmost attention and forceful reaction of the most severe kind to squash this clear threat to out international safety and democracy as we know it. Silencing her and the extreme extremist media who are not critical of her is the only way to guarantee a free press."

Sunday, December 13, 2009

How the Vikings Saved the World Way Before Copenhagen

Unusual Historical Precedent in the Crusade To End Global Warming and Balance Economic Opportunity

They were known throughout enlightened academia as "the Al Gores of the Middle Ages," and the world owes huge steaming piles of unspeakable and unmentionable debts of gratitude to the early global warming fighters - to the Vikings. As our concerned global leaders and thinkers, like Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, Fidel Castro, not to speak of Al Gore, crusade for planetary survaival, in between feasting on platters of pickled herring, the ancient Vikings also fought a long campaign with similar goals and strategies in an earlier, little-known climate crisis. While at the Global Warming Summit, leaders are are consorting in the ancient Viking capital of Copenhagen, pleading for more state empowerment for a one-world government takeover of petty nationalistic rights in order to combat global warming, hundreds of years before, the Vikings were, in their own unique way, seeking the same thing.

Leaving their cozy, quaint hobbit holes in Norway and Denmark, these proto-hippie nature lovers ventured out by the hundreds of thousands to sacrificially fight with inhuman courage to lower worldwide global warming trends during the Medieval Warm Period, thus saving the planet. They delicately closed down thousands of polluting blacksmith shops, bakeries, libraries and razed hundreds of thousands of polluting homes and chimney stacks, not to mention, they drastically reduced human population in many areas so as to limit carbon footprints. They pursued their climate reduction campaign from southern Europe to the far coasts of Greenland, Ireland and even Nova Scotia. As early ecologists, their intense love for Mother Earth, or Gaia, or Thor, compelled them on their sacrificial worldwide campaign against earlier global warming, even though the warmer temperatures had helped them by melting much ice thus helping them to navigate the North Sea and the farther reaches of the eastern North Atlantic Ocean. At times they had to slaughter naysayers and skeptics who were the equivalents of the white-hooded, subhuman Holocaust-deniers and genocidal homophobic flat-earthers of our days, otherwise known as global-warming skeptics.

Many modern scientists, receiving millions of dollars in government grant money, agree that the massive rise in temperatures in the 800-1100 period was leading to the literal extinction of all living beings had it been allowed to continue unabated. As the Vikings sought through persuasion and education to convert the backwards peoples of Europe and elsewhere as to the dangers of rampant capitalism and greedy polluters of the earth, their herculean efforts gradually paid off, leveling the temperatures and thus saving the planet and life as we know it.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Michael Moore's New Movie Under Attack by Capitalists

His Anti-Capitalism Film Tanks at the Box Office

Recalling ex-Pres. Clinton's blaming of "vast right-wing conspiracies" as the reason for both Clinton's and Pres. Obama's struggles to institute a system of social justice through national socialism, Michale Moore today also blamed the disastrous lack of interest by movie-goers in his brilliant, anti-capitalist propaganda film, "Capitalism: A Love Story,"on the same unknown members (likely Jewish though) of this deviously sinister conspiracy. "Greedy corporate sponsors are not donating to help us promote this project. We have not been able to buy enough air time," Moore explained to our LFL correspondent at his Upper Eastside Manhattan penthouse. "The illusion of prosperity that we have had for over 200 years has simply brainwashed the stupid, moronic American public, who are the stupidest people on earth in like, history, so much that even the best and most massive propaganda efforts in history of the media and academia for the last 30 years, cannot dissuade the majority of stupid Americans from the evils of capitalism. They are so stupid!"

Meanwhile on Capitol Hill, Rep. Barney Frank (MA-D) called for an investigation into this right-wing conspiracy and a proposed bill that would help struggling filmakers like Michael Moore to finance their films by having the federal government pay for their showing in public schools. "It's question of art. We must squeeze the creative juices of our artistic people to produce more flims like Capitialism: A Love Story, even if it seems there is not audience to watch it," he said to a receptive audience at the annual meeting of Progressives For Fairness, Freedom in Films and Truth! (PFFFT!) It's founder, ex-porn filmmaker, Art Scuzddly, called for even more drastic measures. "Progressive community organizers must go out in their local communities and seize the evil capitalist greedy, money-grubbing theaters and demand that "Capitalism: A Love Story" be the only movie shown for the next two months in the interest of fairness and freedom."

When asked about his next project, Moore stated that he was working on a movie about the evils of the food and dieting industry.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Holder Will Prosecute Bush Administration!

Ground Zero To Be Named, "Mohammad Atta Islamic Peace Plaza."

In announcing the long-desired for prosecution of Bush, Cheney, Obama administration Attorney general, Eric Holder, said today, "The vile criminals responsible for this war, 9/11, inumerable crimes against humanity, terrorism, and practically all evil in the world since the Romanoff family will be brought finally to justice!!" before a gathered crowd of Code Pink activists, Nation of Islam ministers, ACORN leaders and SEIU union representatives.

"This is a day of victory. We have long fought for freedom and for the downfall of the U.S," said Code Pink leader and community organizer, Vladamir Maryanne Westheimer.

Holder then later flew to NYC to speak before another crowd of Islamic and progressive community organizers to announce the naming of Ground Zero as, "The Mohammad Atta Islamic Peace Plaza."

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Politically Correct Agitator Attire Album

Reports of "Brooks Brothers", Old Navy, Dockers and Other Protest Fashion Horrors Provokes Cries of "Foul!!" From Democrat National Socialist Fashion Experts

Sen. Barbara Boxer expressed outrage at so-called health care protestors outrageous attire of "Brooks Brothers suits" to agitate, yell, protest, disrupt, and "stormtroop" peaceful Democratic legislators explaining of the proposed state-controlled takeover of health care for U.S and Mexican citizens. "Everyone with the most basic, decent, and civil respect for civil protest knows that that is not how you dress for riots, marching, and stormtrooping!" she cried on a live interview with the utterly mortified Chris Matthews.

As experts in radical-chic fashion for many years, we have catalogued an array of politically-correct protest attire so that protestors will be aware and prepared to not offend progressive sensibilities and fashion experts like Sen. Boxer and Chris Matthews.

Looking for a way to boldly declare that classic progressive-socialist message, "We socialists are way smarter than you dumb redneck reactionaries, and we got the brains coming out the wazoo to prove it?" Here, "Code Pink" Claudette shows in a smashing combo that pink is not only acceptable, but perfectly revolutionary!!! As an added benefit, her design gloriously plays upon the "pinko" theme in a subtle, yet humorously ironic way. Bravo, Claudette! Your brains are showing!

If pink is not your dealio, celebrity progressive fashion maven and shoe stylist Ricardo Reid might like to seduce you into one of the hottest radical-chic fashion trends today -Gitmo Orange! Express your politically-correct progressive rage at Amerika and solidarity with Sheik Muhamad Khalid. Just make sure your name isn't Julius!

This daring young fashion-forward Berkeley glamazon, Hector, has ingeniously combined the nostaligic Ho Chi Minh look with a dash of Palestinian-Hamas sashe acoutrements in a statement that is sure to deliciously offend the US capitalist-Zionist entity with a one-two punch for radical fashion!! Hello? Yayness?

Voila! Sometimes they say, "Less is more, mon ami!" Need we say more of Haight Street stylists, Stanley and Siggie's daring makeunder statement!!?

Right on!!! "Boston" Bart demonstrates virtual poupourri of vintage radicaleeze, creative, and yet color-coordinated! A smoragsborg of deliciously politically-correct, progressive totalitarianist causes and ideology that young'uns like this hopeful Maoist radical can visually nosh upon

Yo! Black is always back, especially these days as these two "City of Bro-love" fashion models, "G-hawd" and "Honky-X," don the ubiquitous and daringly provocotive black berets and nightstick accesories. Sure to cause a stir at your local polling booth! Black is the new black!! Waddup!

Back to the Left Coast, Santa Cruz stylin' pioneer, Adam, displays a trickle-up trendy "Love Pain" tatoo gorgeously combines the patriotic red, white, blue motif that is sure to tickle your radically Democrat-socialistic and nationalistic sentiments, replete with adorned undergarments to create a lovely sensually proletarian statement of solidarity and revolution! Right on! Power to the People!!

And last but not least, Al-Akbarack's absolutely fab combination creates the ever-growing popular and delectibly edgey "Palestinian Suicide-bomber" look, replete with faux cell-phone accessory! Yummy for your eye tummy!!!

WE ask all progressive-minded citizens and comrades to please be on the lookout for fashion treason and protest clothing horrors, and report it to: