Michael Moore's New Movie Under Attack by Capitalists

His Anti-Capitalism Film Tanks at the Box Office

Recalling ex-Pres. Clinton's blaming of "vast right-wing conspiracies" as the reason for both Clinton's and Pres. Obama's struggles to institute a system of social justice through national socialism, Michale Moore today also blamed the disastrous lack of interest by movie-goers in his brilliant, anti-capitalist propaganda film, "Capitalism: A Love Story,"on the same unknown members (likely Jewish though) of this deviously sinister conspiracy. "Greedy corporate sponsors are not donating to help us promote this project. We have not been able to buy enough air time," Moore explained to our LFL correspondent at his Upper Eastside Manhattan penthouse. "The illusion of prosperity that we have had for over 200 years has simply brainwashed the stupid, moronic American public, who are the stupidest people on earth in like, history, so much that even the best and most massive propaganda efforts in history of the media and academia for the last 30 years, cannot dissuade the majority of stupid Americans from the evils of capitalism. They are so stupid!"

Meanwhile on Capitol Hill, Rep. Barney Frank (MA-D) called for an investigation into this right-wing conspiracy and a proposed bill that would help struggling filmakers like Michael Moore to finance their films by having the federal government pay for their showing in public schools. "It's question of art. We must squeeze the creative juices of our artistic people to produce more flims like Capitialism: A Love Story, even if it seems there is not audience to watch it," he said to a receptive audience at the annual meeting of Progressives For Fairness, Freedom in Films and Truth! (PFFFT!) It's founder, ex-porn filmmaker, Art Scuzddly, called for even more drastic measures. "Progressive community organizers must go out in their local communities and seize the evil capitalist greedy, money-grubbing theaters and demand that "Capitalism: A Love Story" be the only movie shown for the next two months in the interest of fairness and freedom."

When asked about his next project, Moore stated that he was working on a movie about the evils of the food and dieting industry.