Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Absolute Brilliance of the Democratic Strategy

As we must suffer through all the right-wing yapfests gloating over the supposed demise of the once-inevitably triumphant Obama campaign, and as some of our operatives within the media are seemingly harried and horrified, I see nothing but victory ahead for Obama and for the people.

Mention is being made especially of our Obama's alleged "lack of stamina," emotional weakness, and "hissyfit" thrown at a seemingly diminutive "woman" who shall remain nameless, but who innocuously smiles from behind teacher glasses, but in whom resides the very quintessence of pure malevolence. One Democratic columnist even described her as "a Trojan Moose."

Yet in my expert analysis of analyzing over thirty years of unending defeat of the revolutionary progressive forces of the Democratic Party by the forces of the reactionism, I see this seeming breakdown in composure and poise in Obama as a huge Trojan Elephant. I see hope on this dark horizon, a hope that will crush forever the forces of right in Amerikkka. Here it is: Our strength is Barack Obama's weakness. Read that again, for just like the Repukes are jumping and howling in glee like the subhumans from East Flyover, Oklahoma, they are, you dear intelligent progressive Leftist might miss it's real significance and hope for our cause too.

Barack Hussein (I, for one, am proud of that name) Obama will win this thing for us through his being weak! Think with me, dear fellow intellectual and activist. We all know without even thinking about it that, as one great modern political leader said at the U.N., "the hegemonic pretensions of the American empire are placing at risk the very survival of the human species". What we need and what millions of Americans sense is that we don't want any more macho-man cowboyism in the White House, invading legitimate regimes and taking over countries. Americans have been doing this for centuries, especially the last one, as our more genteel European cousins can testify. Europeans are desperately afraid of people like Bush and typical Americans. This is why they flocked like gazelles during mating season to hear Obama speak on his triumphant, historic European Tour. They sensed a CHANGE. They sense a new kind of American, a nicer, more genteel, suave, yea.... a metrosexual one!

Millions of Americans sense the same. Many of us grew up with no mean, authoritarian dads to rough us up and make us play fight or sports, to develope our more aggresive, deleterious tendencies. Millions of young people are no longer bound by the harsh and unforgivable delineations of "man" or "woman" or "masculine" or "feminine" behavior. Testosterone-driven aggresive behavior, apart from starting world wars and subjugating the womyn, is downright scary to many of us!! Obama, while he idealized his father in one of his several autobiographies, never really knew him, and like millions of Americans boys and girls today, were beneficially protected from any real male nurturing.

This is wonderful on two fronts! One, millions of Americans are now much less aggresive, mean, cowboy-like than their predecessors. Millions feel very uncomfortable with male, bellicose, aggresive assertiveness today. Second, we now have a leader who can not only identify with millions of Americans who are oppressed by the white, male, Christian, corporate oligarchy, but one who is likewise of more docile constitution. Obama has a natural, hip, womyn-like understanding on life, and will be a more pacific, communicative (will sit down with anyone over coffee,) President, more in touch with his emotions than other Presidents. He will be a nurturing world leader who will care of us all, taking care of our health, educative, and especially, our compulsive emotional needs to feel good about ourselves and our community. And he will do the same for the world and the planet. He understands, for example, that Islamic fundamentaklists all just really need to be loved, understood, cared about, and this will dissolve world tensions.

Perhaps even more than the spectacle of Obama lashing out in true bitchy fashion at his half-pint competition -the Moose Anhilatoress- Obama may even soon break down and weep helplessly on national TV like a little school girl going through her first period. Like my of us who are wounded and are in more touch with our emotional needs, we can identify with Obama more than the some-relic-from-a-bygone-age McCain. we are the self-esteem generation who need to be loved, affirmed and praised. When Obama breaks down at perceived threats to his need to be admired, loved and esteemed, and while other older Americans may cringe at horrified disgust, we of the newer mold, actually weep with him identify with him, and are even more appreciative that we have some one who understands and represents us in the political sphere. And with one voice we rise up to say to the older, cowboy-like America, "Leave him aloooone!"

For this same reason, he was absolutely right in not selecting Hillary Clinton as his VP. But perhaps he could have done better than ole bombastic Joe Biden. Harry Reid, for example, is quite metrosexual, with a nondescript and unthreatening kind of new "masculinity."


Dr. Waddlesworth Lumplevin said...

Absolute brilliance, Doctor!!!

Georgfelis said...

Brilliant parody of the Left there, absolutly fantastic, so off the wall that I thought of Howard the Dean right off the bat.

Iowahawk, is that you?

Jianguo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dr. Waddlesworth Lumplevin said...

While I am a liberal and feel that everything is permissible except Christianity, capitalism, and Sarah Palin, I cannot allow that kind of language.

Please try to repost and demonstrate the intelligence of good progressive.

Jianguo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jianguo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dr. Waddlesworth Lumplevin said...

Please sir, as a progressive who struggles against the racist, capitalist, imperialist, Zionist empire, you can certainly offer a comment about our candidate and the geopolitical state of affairs.

This is not the place to discuss your eating disorders with regards to fruit cups.

Unless the comment is on topic I will be forced to delete it.