Take heart! There is a solution! I don't know what has happened to me. I am generally a peaceful person, except for when I was involved a bit in the peace effort during the Vietnam era. We had to bomb a few targets like the Statue of Liberty and Independence Hall as a symbolic statements for the freedom of the people of Southeast Asia, and it worked! Our peace effort brought peace to millions of citizens of Southeast Asia, millions of whom are now living peacefully in the U.S.
But I digress. Everytime I see that goddam evil, %^$% racist, neo-nazi #$%&^ bitch thing from Alaska, I simply lose all my normal intelligence, poise, tolerance, love for humanity and calm demeanor. You may not be able to tell it by my literary eruditions, but everytime I see her on TV at home, she sends me into uncontrollable hysterical fits of animalistic rage . My insurance company is no longer believes me that my third plasma screen TV just spontaneously exploded again and are now refusing to replace it. Greedy corporate thieves! I am on meds. I wake up at nights in cold sweats with horrific nightmares of plastic glasses and twangy Middle-American prose echoing in my terrified heart. And most tragic of all, my thinking and conversation has become erratic and incoherent, which is starting to affect my writing. I am out of control. My life is unmanageable.
I have admitted I need help and that there is a higher power available, at a cost - Dr. Weinstein, my therapist. She has been helping me to work through all this, to comprehend why this....this...that....#$%^%$ Palin!... sends me, a reknown professor of human ontology and PHD from Harvard, into a total frightening freak-out fit of nuclear meltdown defcon5 batshit crazy blathering barbarity. She has comforted me in showing me that I am not alone in this struggle, but that many of the finest, most brilliant, creative people on the planet are caught in this horrid, inhumane vortex of mindless fanatic rage and hate, people like Madonna, Matt Damon, Gloria Steinem, all the dozens of once-famous-out-of-work actors who now write 50$ articles for the HuffPo excoriating Palin, ETC., ETC.
Yesterday, in my group therapy session at the San Fransisco Zen Center, we had a wonderful breakthrough. We were discussing exactly why %^&!%$ Palin incites so many of us peace-loving people dedicated to humanitarianism, tolerance, women's lib, and open-mindedness into deep, scary, vein-popping levels of hatred and clinically off-the-charts exhibitions of Tourette's Syndrome. One of our group, a screen writer for sex therapy films, suddenly had a glorious epiphany. "Hey! We are not really all that bad!" he shouted out to the group almost spilling his raspberry double-macadamia nut frappé. "No?" we asked hopefully in stunned unison. "NO!" he screamed letting his super-ego take a backseat to his id. "It's all her fault! Everytime they criticize an Obama position or associate, they are being like the racist bigots who burned alive those little black school girls in Alabama! I am seeing it now...We are not guilty!" ( Although later, some cynically thought he might have been seeing a newsfeed about Rep. Lewis' statements on his iPhone.) Oh it was incredible! We all leaped up in childlike joy and release, and started taking off our clothes while marching in a circle chanting, "Kill Ms. Piggie! Kill Ms. Piggie! Kill Ms. Piggie!" It was so liberating!
So now I am free. Free at last! I am in my 12th step now - carrying the message to others who suffer pangs of conscience about their irrational, sub-human hatred toward Sarah Palin- It's OK! No more guilt and shame when I say that I would like to take that %$#%$%ing Sarah Palin and film her getting tortured and raped by brothers from Harlem, as one Prgressive recently suggested. And then, before kicking her ass myself with my hobnailed boots until she screams for mercy, as Madonna suggested to thousands of hooting fans , I will burn her trailer-trash family alive before her eyes just before finishing her off by making her drink muriatic acid and letting the last words she ever hears be, "It's all your fault Ms. Hottie... plus I hate those glasses!"
....and besides she's so....so.... mean to those poor animals!!!
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