McCain Weeps, Loves Obama

McCain Says He Sees Obama Now as his "Big Brother"

Aides and press were stunned as ex-candidate and foe Sen. John McCain inadvertently collapsed into Pres.-elect Barack Obama's arms in their historic meeting at Obama's Chicago transition headquarters today. The light chat designed to "bury the hatchet" and discuss issues such as climate change, the economy, and whether Penn State deserves to go to the Rose Bowl, took an unexpected turn when McCain grew strangely silent as an awkward silence came over the room.

Tears welling up in his eyes, McCain could barely choke out the words," You know, Barry, my friend, all...those awful things I said, you know....about being a socialist....about associating with terrorists, scumbags and race-mongering preachers....I am so sorry! I didn't mean it! Oh gawd!" McCain suddenly reached across the table and clutched Pres.-elect Obama and the two men just sat there holding each other, muffled sobs occasionally erupting from McCain, whose face was deeply buried into the moistened shoulder of the blue suit Obama had worn.

The Press were then asked to leave so as to allow some moments of privacy between the two men. After 30 minutes alone together, McCain left quickly , beaming in an unusual way that has been uncharacteristic of him in most of his public life. McCain associate and friend, Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, read a written statement given to him by the senator from Arizona before he left in a flood of emotion:

"My friends, in todays' meeting with the President-elect Obama, I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of the greatness of this man. As I gazed up at his compassionate face in that meeting, I saw that it had taken me the two years of this campaign to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark look. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! I wept today in unabashed joy at simply being in his presence. But it is all right, everything is all right, the struggle is finished. I have won the victory over myself. I love Obama."

Spontaneous and exuberant applause then broke out amongst the reporters gathered at the Obama headquarters. Some were unapologetically weeping too.

Sen. Graham finished reading the statement by McCain: "My friends, I'll do whatever he says to do. I'll collect paper cups off the ground to make his pathway clear."