Wednesday, November 5, 2008

We Are The Change We Needed! Or, As Steve Erkel Would Say, "Did We Do That?" Yes We Did! Why? Because we Could!

We Are Transmorgriphying Into Something That We Don't Know Yet

He is a "transitional figure" as Colin Powell described him, and we are too! "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together." Coo coo kachoo! (I am getting all giddy again.) I even waxed poetic in celebration:

Hope and Change.
It's here dudes!

We are transitioning from a hurt people to a healed people. We were a people who were hopelessly racist especially those that deny they are. Obama has healed our racism., even if you don't know he has. We were the most evil empire in the world. Obama will heal the world from all the hurts we caused. We are a greedy, evil, materialistic nation of capitalist running dogs, but Obama will heal us from all that attachment to stuff and 401ks, and our ridiculous attempts to become robber barons with our small businesses. He has come!

Here is what we are transitioning from: We were a Judeo-Christian nation. Nope! No longer. We are a whatever nation now, but mostly secular. We were a nation that believed in absolute values. We are all relativists now and free from the old stodgey, right-wrong mindset. We were a nation that believed that freedom gave men the opporunity to produce and create opporunities for others. Balderdash! We all know that government control and hand outs is the answer to the economy.

I personally want to thank some of the other transitional agents in this evolutionary process of Change. I thank the press, for not giving in to old models of reporting, like reporting both sides and not getting personally involved with your own preferences. They boldly sacrificed that Mencken-like protocol and, risking their very reputation and professional integrity, boldly announced that they were fighting for the change. I especially appreciate the way they utterly trashed that evil Alaskan whose name I cannot say without having a breakdown for the way she dared attack our leader at that speech. She will never be forgiven for that and lawyers are working on ways to bring her down now.

I also want to thank all those Christians who finally aborted their foul obsession, not to speak of that silly old book, but also over those nasty little globs of tissue in the womb, and decided that Hope and Change is better for the world than more disgusting humans leaving their carbon footprints all over the place and destroying Mother Earth. Maybe some Christians can be integrated into the new world order without having to eliminate them. So although you still have a ways to go before you are truly a progressive and enlightened person, you are still a surprising and welcome part of the Change we need and got, so I am sure you'll soon give up the rest of that vile crap you believe in.


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